Crumpled Notebook

Some more thoughts and I think I’m through. I may post some more pictures, but that should be about it.

When I saw this picture below, I knew immediately where it was. I can’t even begin to explain the numbing feeling that came over me. Even though in my head this is what I’d thought it would look like based on the numerous news articles I’ve read, I was still shocked to see this. I’m looking at it, thinking, “oh, that’s where the store was” and “Oh, our house was here” and “down this way is where so and so lived.” It’s nuts. When people in the articels said “it’s gone,” I was thinking flooding and damage, but still expected there to be something left. Looking at this, it doesn’t look like it. There is a bit more of the town that isn’t shown, but I can’t imagine it being very much different.

What is going through my head right now is that, I’m sitting here, in awe, numb, in shock, and this wasn’t even my home. I mean, I lived there for about 6 months, but most of the residents there had been there 10, 20, 30 years. I know before Joe died, he had lived there for about 25 years I think. Again, I am just so grateful that Mom moved when she did. I’m also grateful that very few people were killed by this. I can’t imagine anyone surviving if they had stayed in Holly Beach or the surrounding area, based on this picture. But even though there were fewer casualties than Katrina, for the survivors, I think the devastation is probably just as great. I can’t even think about the possibility of leaving my home, evacuating, taking what few things I can with me, and having absolutely nothing to come back to. Not even having a town to come back to, or neighbors. Potentially never seeing your town again. Maybe never seeing your friends and neighbors again. I can’t even fathom that idea. Just think of the millions of people, the survivors of both Katrina and Rita, that have to live that thought. It really is times like these when I really do want to question God. I don’t. I mean, who am I? Where was I when He so delicately laid the earth’s foundations? I guess its more a question of “why these people?” Why do they deserve to lose everything they have, while I sit on my couch in the comfort of my home and read about it? Why a state that has already lost so much in the past month? I know, there are no answers for this. But I do know this: I feel fortunate to be able to sleep in my own bed everynight; to wake up to sunlight and not rain; to sit and watch t.v. with my cat; to pick up the phone and call my friends and family and not wonder where they are and if they are safe. I feel fortunate that I have frozen corndogs in my freezer to eat when I’m too lazy to cook a meal and not have to depend on anyone else or a Salvation Army canteen to eat.

I plan to call one of my step-brothers this week and make sure everyone there is okay and find out how they are otherwise, homes, etc…

This picture below was Holly Beach. I’ll add in later the spot where mom and Joe’s home/motel was.