Crumpled Notebook

So, I’ve been doing some Bible reading lately. I have
a relatively new Bible, and I like it. It’s a standard NIV
Bible, but I’m thinking of getting another with a
different translation. There are about 4 that I read a lot on
BibleGateway.com, so I’m
trying to decide between those. Also, if anyone else has any
suggestions, I’m open to hearing those. The ones I’ve been reading
are The New Living Translation (NLT), English Standard Version
(ESV), Contemporary English Version (CEV), and New International
Reader’s Version (NIRV). As far as how things are said, I probably
like the CEV the best, but sometimes it’s written so different,
that while the message is the same, it’s hard to recall the
traditional verses you already know. I’ve recently been turned on
to the NIRV, basically the NIV, just updated a little. I like ESV
because it’s fairly traditional, but understandable, as is the NLT.
NLT just seems to be the new NIV, and you know me, I like to be
different. I’ve heard a little about this HCSB and it doesn’t look
too bad. I’m really not into The Message Bible though. It takes
away too much of the beauty of God’s word. It’s good for
translation, when I’m not understanding something, or using to help
explain to my sunday school class, but I don’t need to buy one for
that. So yeah, any thoughts? I’m leaning toward ESV and CEV right
at this moment, but earlier, it was the NIRV or the NLT. Go figure.
I also found this on my friend "http://www.beyondthepixels.com/wordpress/2006/04/08/fellowship-of-the-unashamed/">
Jeff’s website. I thought it was really good and decided to
post it here. I am part of the �Fellowship of the Unashamed.� The
die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has
been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won�t look back, let
up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my
present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and
done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees,
colorless dreams, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer
need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or
popularity. I now live by presence, lean by faith, love by
patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power. My pace is set, my
gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is
rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I
cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back,
diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice,
hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of
the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze
of mediocrity. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until
Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work
until He comes. And when He comes to get His own, He will have no
problem recognizing me. My colors will be clear.

Well, looks like its been a week since I posted here. It seems the week went by rather quickly. Overall, a decent week, other than some car issues. The weekend was good. I was glad I had a chance to spend the day at home yesterday resting.

Church was good today, and the Sunday night service at Calvary was also good again. I hope that I’ll be getting into a routine there soon. The exciting thing is that something I’ve been working on looks like it may see the light of day.

A few months back, a few of my friends and I started talking about what seems to be lacking from today’s churches. We wanted fellowship, we wanted consistency, we wanted opportunities to meet new people and do different things, and we wanted something to bring people from different Christian churches together. Basically, an easy way to meet other young adult Christians in the area. Yeah, there are a lot of “church” programs, but it’s hard going into a new church sometimes when you don’t know anyone, especially if you aren’t looking for a new church. On top of that, recently I’ve had a lot of frustrations with the state of church today. It’s all about fitting into a box. Sure, its hard to go against the stream sometimes, but at some point, someone has to stand up and do something about it. I decided I wanted to be one of those people. Someone who, when they see something they don’t like, rather than wish it was different and complain about it, they go out and do something about it. They do it the way they want it done, or at least they change the negatives into positives (or try to do this at least).

So, like I said, after talking with some friends and getting some good ideas, we came up with a plan to do just that. Something to give the young adults of Monterey a place to meet. A place that is non-church affiliated, but still strives to build strong Christians. A place to fellowship and take away the pressures of always “knowing” the answers. A social club basically.

Anyway, so after some months or working out the details, we started recruiting. Needless to say, it has been a team effort. A lot of great ideas from a lot of different people. A lot of people who deserve a lot of kudos. It’s not something I’d have had the nerve to go about alone.

Anyway, stop by and check out the myspace account we created. It’s called 707 Fellowship. We’ve been pleasantly surprised at the response so far. I would just ask for your prayers and support on this, as I’m finally taking some control of where my spiritual life goes, and not being satisified with anyone’s idea of what it should look like…just God.

So, this is one of those personal “whats going on in my life” type entries. Bear with me please. Tonight, I went to Calvary Chapel’s Sunday night service, NexGen. I haven’t been very many times, but I’ve always enjoyed it when I have been. Tonight, for some reason, was especially good.

First, a little background. I had been going to a regular Sunday night Bible Study for quiet a while–1 1/2 to 2 years at The Salvation Army, where I attend church. Now, its not always been on Sunday, but still, the same group. I like my Bible study and friends there. We’re a close group. Lately though, I’ve been feeling the need for more. Like something there is holding me back from growing spiritually. So a couple months ago, I made an executive decision for myself, with a lot of thought and prayer, that I was going to start attending the Sunday night Calvary service instead of the tried and true Bible study I was used to. Now, Calvary is more of a evening church service. Its not a small group. It’s not super larger, but its just a different dynamic. We get into the Word there still, it’s just different. They have an awesome worship band. They play new and interesting music. And most importantly, there are people there and people that are friendly. I feel comfortable there. I’m going into a new place, where no one has any idea who I am, or any pre-conceived notions of who I am, or what I’m like, or any expectations of me. I’m free to praise and worship God anyway I want to without worrying what anyone will think.

Here is another thing you should know. I stopped going to Bible study a couple months ago, but really haven’t been going to Calvary like I said I was going to. I mean, not that Calvary was the only reason, but the rest are just complicated. Calvary was just an outlet for me to get something more, something I’m not getting from Salvation Army, and something I couldn’t get from Salvation Army. See, it’s not anyone at The Salvation Army’s fault per se that I’m unhappy there. Its not even that I’m unhappy. I love my church. I have no plans of leaving it. I love what they stand for, what they do and how they do it. But it’s small. It’s small and its been small since I started going. In fact, its gotten smaller for the most part except for the growing number of teens that are coming, which is awesome! However, my needs aren’t being completely met. They are being met the best way they can at the current moment, but I just needed more. I needed something more and something different.

So during this couple of months that I haven’t been attending Bible study or Calvary, one might think my committment and dedication to the Lord would slack off. I’m sure it could appear that way to some. But the crazy thing is it’s just the opposite. For the first time in my life, I’m really starting to see the path God has planned for me. I know and understand what I believe and why I believe it. I’m not afraid to go and and do something about it either. I have some exciting ideas floating around in my head that I hope to make reality soon.

Tonight I took notes. I can’t tell you the last time I willingly took notes during a Bible Study. I was comfortable worshipping for the first time in I don’t know how long. I made some hard decisions this weekend too. But the message tonight, you know, it wasn’t spectacular or life changing. But it was motivating. I mean, we were just reading from 1 Samuel. However I learned something. I listened. I soaked it all in. I felt like I was just being taught and not preached to. The leader, he didn’t act like he knew more than anyone else in the room, he just gave us the information and the message God had for us.

I’ve been waiting on this. I’ve felt energized lately, I just haven’t been able to get it out for myself. I’ve been excited for the teens in my Sunday school class. I’ve been excited for other people. I just hadn’t been able to get thatpersonal connection to God during worship time, at least not during worship with others.

Anyway, I’m hoping this will help me stay energized. I am hoping I can go to my own church now and be comfortable in my own place again. Not worry about being the person I’m expected to be. Not worry that I feel unfaithful because I’m exploring other things. Not feel guilty because my needs and ideas don’t fit into a box. Just being thankful for what God is doing for me and know that I am doing God’s will–to “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)