Crumpled Notebook

(This is gonna be a two-part entry)

It’s a funny thing. I’ve been thinking a lot about my job working at the jail lately. Not really for my own reasons, but it’s just came up a lot in conversation. Right now, I’ve been going through resumes for someone to replace our case manager, Armelle (who is moving on to bigger and better things). A few of the ones I’ve received have been from people who either work at jails or prisons, or have in the past. Everytime I see one, I think Why would they want to work here? and then remembering that Oh yeah, I used to work there too. I was also have a conversation with Keva about jails and correctional officers and people who work there. I have to tell you, I have some pretty strong bias about people who work there. But at least, looking at the resumes, I can reason it to the fact that maybe they want a change or different environment, much like I did when I left that place.

At any rate, I was thinking about it today and I realized how so much happier I am with my work these days than I was then. I mean, I’ll be the first person to admit that the job I have now, I didn’t even want to apply for in the beginning. Susan (my predecessor) had to talk me into it. By the time I actually did decide to apply, I was a little more hopeful that it would be something I would like. But I still had my doubts. I even said during my interview that “housing” wasn’t really my thing. I was scared to death upon being offered the job. I was scared I was out of my league and getting in over my head. But I was also scared even more that I would hate it. I was scared that I would get stuck in a job that I hated and that was boring and that I had no passion about. Now, there have been times I felt out of my league and that I was in WAY over my head, but overall, I’ve managed well. What hasn’t happened is me hating the job. The cool thing is that I haven’t had to really give up much of anything that I already knew I was passionate about, I’ve just found ways to include that and also had my eyes opened even more to things that I care about.

The point is, I am a completely different person than I was then. If you would have told me when I was 18 years old, or even 25 years old, that I would be doing what I’m doing now, I would have laughed at you and said no way. Even when I moved here 2 1/2 years ago, while I was little more unsure as to where my life was going, there is no way you could have convinced me of this.

It’s just funny how things work out. Who knows what I’ll be doing in another 10 years, but I can tell you, I’d actually be happy to know it was something closer to what I’m about now, than what I was about when I worked at the jail and lived in Lexington.