Crumpled Notebook

I’m in a mood tonight. I just got through telling one of my best friends that I don’t think she should move to Japan to be with her boyfriend. She is set to leave in about one month. Already bought the plane ticket, put in her notice at her job, etc…And to top it off, I don’t really have that much of a good reason. I just don’t want her to be dissatisfied with her life (even though they would only be there one year–well, less that one year now).

I also talked to a new guy on the phone tonight. We’ve been corresponding on eHarmony for several weeks now. Tonight was our first phone conversation. We talked about an hour. He seems like a nice guy. We’re going to try and meet up in a couple weeks. What is weird is that Monday night I was freaking about because he told me that he had met another person on eHarmony that happens to be one of my co-workers and that I go to church with. How messed up is that? Not just any old person, it had to be “that” person–you know, the last person you would want your boyfriend or whoever to have dated. Nothing against her. I’m just a prideful person that way. Don’t get me wrong, I can see how they were matched. They seem to have similar personalities, and they are both great people. But come on, I have my matches set to “anywhere in the world” and I get matched and end up liking a guy that she met. Today I decided I could deal with it. I talked to her. She told me he was a cool guy, just that it didn’t click. Thats fine. I don’t suspect we have the same taste in guys anyway. But in general, I think its just weird. I’m not sure how I’d feel about it if we did actually start dating. But at the very least, so far, so good. We had a nice conversation tonight and I am looking forward to getting to know him more.

Which leads me to decide that I need to quit stringing along with 2-3 guys at a time. Not dating or doing anything else with. Just talking. But the talking keeps me distracted enough that I don’t have to worry about getting too emotionally attached to any of them. Good in the sense that I don’t move to fast. Bad in the sense that either they end up getting bored/frustrated wit me, or I get bored with them. I don’t’ take the time to get to know them and focus on the potential like I should. Yeah, I know, its all my defensive mechanisms going up to keep me from getting too close to people. So, I’ve decided that I’m just going to focus on one guy–this eHarmony guy, until I figure out if we have any potential or not.

We’ll see how that works out.