Crumpled Notebook

I hate moving. Actually, moving is okay. It’s the packing and hauling and unpacking that gets me. Especially when I’m doing it by myself.

Could be worse I suppose. At least I’m not moving from Seattle or Portland like Ross and Alisha, respectively. And, at least I don’t have any real furniture to move or anything too big.

So yeah, I guess I’m complaining for nothing. But hey, when I get all moved and settled in, I’ll take some pics of the new place to show you all. It’s such a grown-up place.

P.S. I’m working on a Barry Bonds blog post. I have a lot of pent up frustration right now, so I’m trying to work it out in my head before I put it out there for everyone.

So, funny thing tonight–well, at least my only regular readers, Crystal and Misty, will get a kick out of it.

It actually started last night–I saw a bulletin post on myspace from an old friend (read: ex-boyfriend) about how his “niece” had to be taken to the hospital and was in ICU when he posted. She’s not actually his niece, but he just refers to himself as “uncle  xyz” because they’re close, he’s kinda like a dad to her, etc…. Anyway, he was asking for prayer, so I wrote to him, told him I’d pray for them (and I did). That’s not really the funny, interesting part though.

By the way, she’s all better now, thankfully.

He replied thanking me and so this evening I replied to him, closing with “Love, Melissa”. Then I was like, “oh, I can’t put that, he’s married” (of course he is, all of my ex-boyfriends are married). But I realized I put it because he put it in his. Even funnier was that the first email I wrote to him, I almost put it, and figured it would be weird. So when he responded with it, I didn’t think much about it and did the same.

Okay, I’m probably not being clear. It’s obviously not a “love” like romantic type thing. I can’t even say for sure that I “love” him in much of any way. But isn’t it funny how that last people on the earth that you ever thought you’d find yourself writing “love, xyz” to in an email, some 13-14 years later (okay, as if it wasn’t clear, I guess that gives away who the person is), is someone you end up writing it to? I mean, seriously, of all of my ex-boyfriends, minus the psycho ones, I doubted this would be the one that when I’m sitting here, on the verge of age 29, be giving my support and love (platonic) to. It’s not like we’re gonna be hanging out anytime soon or anything. I don’t know. I’m not making sense, but I just found it amusing that I can say that to someone that I’ve never ever claimed to love, and on some levels, actually mean it. It’s like, my childhood/youth love or something, and I’m so far beyond it, that all the stupid stuff we’ve done to each other or said about each other, is past. So, I think that means, at age 28 years, 10 months and 18 days, I’m officially an adult. I can officially “love” someone that I used to love to “love” and use to love to “hate.”

Are you confused? I know I am :-)

I’m sitting here watching Sam (my cat) as he is bird watching right now. He makes such funny noises, and they are all different depending on what he is watching. Where we just moved from, it was mainly other cats he would see, so I haven’t heard the bird noises in a while. When he is cat watching, he makes hissing and growling noises. When he is bird watching, he’s almost like drooling and his mouth shakes, like he’s going to eat them up when he catches them–and make no mistake about it…he CAN catch a bird. He has many times. The birds of Contra Costa street better start locking up their children in those nests.

On a related note, I’ve been moving this weekend. In case you don’t know. I have a new job starting June 4th as the Corps Assistant here still at The Salvation Army. It’s different from my current job doing housing in that my main focus will be on ministry for the Corps, assisting the Corps Officers/Pastors, and doing youth programs. I’m actually really excited about it, but I’m not sure how well I’ve been able to communicate that or display it to most people. The announcement to the church was made last Sunday and to the staff here last Monday. Since then, I’ve rarely brought it up unless someone specifically asked and even then, kept it pretty brief. I think it’s because I just feel so lucky and almost undeserving, and yes, blessed, that I don’t want to chance for one second making it about me. It really is a God thing and I want it to be about Him and how he can use me. I guess the part that makes me uncomfortable is that, right now, at this moment, I couldn’t picture much of anything, job-wise, that would make me happier. I have a great job, that happens to include an apartment–a newly remodeled apartment at that, and I feel so undeserving of that. I feel like God just as easily could haved called me to live in some village in Africa and I wonder how open and receptive I would have been to that calling. So, for me to follow what I hope and believe is God’s will (and that hopefully the Lowcocks believe too or they wouldn’t have hired me), and to be so blessed doing things I love, working with people I love and living in a great place (both the apartment and just this beautiful area), just seems so unfair. Yes, I realize someone has to do it. I just feel like I don’t deserve to be that person sometimes.

Perhaps God knows I probably couldn’t cut it in the heat of Africa or wherever without any internet and the conviences of our American life…who knows?

I know, I rarely do full posts on politics, just the occasional jab. You can even see from my categories that there is no “politics” category. It’s just not my thing to rant about on here usually. Not that this is a rant by any means.

I was reading a TIME article today called “The Last Temptation of Al Gore.” While I was reading it, and looking at the picture gallery of him over the years, I realized how much good this man has actually done for our country and how much courage he has to keep doing it despite his “loss” in the 2000 election. I really like it when people stop caring about what they should be and just be themselves and I feel like that is what Gore has done since the election. I wish this Al Gore was the same Al Gore that ran for president in 2000. I love the fact that since then, he has really fought for what he believes in, and stuff we should all believe in like our environment, he didn’t care to speak out against the war, because what does he have to lose. He has showed much more passion than we ever saw when he was Vice-President or running for President. He has somehow managed to grasp the advantage the President Clinton had over him–personality. A straight-up environment-loving, computer geek with personality. Yeah, so what if he said he “invented the internet” (actually what Gore said was “I took the initiative in creating the Internet”). A wording blunder, yes–complete fabrication, no. At least his blunder didn’t say that “human being and fish can coexist peacefully” (although, I’m sure he would be all for that too).

I guess what impresses me most with him is his quiet dignity. He didn’t sit by during the 2000 election and let things happen, but in the end, he had respect for our system. After that, I think most people would have went on a rampage saying how the process was wrong and it needed to be changed. He didn’t do that. He just did what he’s been doing forever, focusing on his passions, and doing so in such a way that he doesn’t care if people judge him. Why should he? He lost a the popular vote to a complete moron. He challenged it and he still lost. He lost his own state. I think most self-respecting men would have went into hiding for the rest of their life. Gore? He decided to write a couple of books and make a movie which resulted in an Academy Award and a Pulitzer. I don’t think that constitutes as running home with your tail between your legs.

And still, he’s not running for President. At least not right now. He should. I mean, he has the best of some of the Democratic front-runners all rolled into one. He’s “a candidate with the grassroots appeal of Barack Obama—someone with a message that transcends politics, someone who spoke out loud and clear and early against the war in Iraq. But you would also want a candidate with the operational toughness of Hillary Clinton—someone with experience and credibility on the world stage.” I’ll go one step father to that. He would be a candidate who doesn’t care about judgment anymore. A man kind of like John Edwards who took his shot and lost it and came back with this side of him we’ve never seen before. A side of him with personality and charm. He’s a southern. He’s not black (and you know there are still people out there who won’t vote for Obama because of that). He’s not a woman (same thing with Hillary losing votes because of being a woman). And frankly, I think he’s done more for our country during the last 5-6 years than our own President has. He hasn’t been creating legislature, he’s being creating awareness and I think I would argue that that is the most important first step to any kind of change. I’m not convinced he has to run for President to continue to make an impact. In fact, maybe he can accomplish more by not running and maybe that is his reasoning. However, if there is any man, or woman, in this country who should be our President, someone intelligent as well as personable, someone who has the ability to create real change and pull us out of this hole we keep digging deeper and deeper, then that man is Al Gore.

Here’s info on his books and movie: Worldchanging: A User’s Guide for the 21st Century, An Inconvenient Truth, Earth in the Balance: Ecology and the Human Spirit

An interesting picture I found on creative commons taken between Mission and Bryant on 24th St in San Francisco.

So I’m going on a cruise next month. It’s a 3 Night cruse from Long Beach that goes to Ensenada, Mexico for a day and then a day at sea. I’m going mid-June with Suzanne from our office (she’s the girl in the picture…in case you wondered). Anyway, the trip is going to be fairly inexpensive, as far as vacations and stuff goes.

I’ve never been on a cruise. My family has been a couple of times, but I always stayed at home. So yeah, I’m really excited.