Crumpled Notebook

So, I’m going to do something I rarely do on here, which is blog about work. In particular, about the youth I work with (so obviously there won’t be a lot of details). So last week we had started our Jr. High group up again (and when I say Jr. High, I mean we had kids there from 6th–10th grade). Last week 23 kids show up! About half of those kids were new, which was cool. A few of them are basically jr. gangsters. Anyway, so I wasn’t sure what to expect last night. We ended up having about 12 I think. Most of the ones that didn’t come back were part of our regulars anyway (a few were in trouble or grounded, etc…). So anyway, the numbers doesn’t concern me.

So, we played this game where I basically had them make a choice and indicate their choice by standing on one side of the room or the other. Things like, “stand on the left if you like McDonald’s best. Stand on the right if you like Burger King best.” Then worked into more serious questions. “Do you believe in God?” “Do you think it’s okay to drink alcohol and drive?” “Have you ever done drugs?”

Anyway, I feel like I almost have this curse. I am sure it’s a good one and a God-given one, but nonetheless, difficult sometimes. See, I don’t mind asking the hard questions. A long time ago, probably when I worked at the jail and got desensitized to it, or expected it, I decided I’d rather ask a hard question, and find out the real answer, than live in my reality of the kids I work with acting just like I think they do…good and wholesome. I think almost every adult who has or works with kids deep down, wants to believe that about the kids they work with (or their own kids). I know I do.  I do it constantly. So I constantly have to remind myself of what I was like as a teenage. I mean, don’t get me wrong, on the whole, I wasn’t a bad kid. I didn’t drink, do drugs, etc…but all the same, if my parents, or those other adults in my life, had any idea what I was like at times, things I was doing, then they did a pretty crappy job of trying to prevent it. Heck, they still think I’m an angel.

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is, I feel like the kids, to some level are being honest with me. But I am aware that, “if they are telling me this much, what aren’t they telling me?”

Needless to say, I have a tough road ahead of me with these kids. I don’t think they are any worse off than any other kids their age. I just happen to know a bit more about where they are. Which is scary and a bit overwhelming sometimes, but I still contend, it’s better to know. Better to ask the hard questions while they still trust you.