Crumpled Notebook

I was just searching back through some old email for something, and started reading random emails. One of them I read was from September of 2005. It was an email to my entire bible study, which on the off-set, isn’t that surprising. However, what i said in it, was pretty surprising, at least for me to say it to all of them.

Anyway, I’m not going to repeat it here, but I was reading it, and seeing how unhappy I was then, and was remembering how much that used to be a part of my life. I mean, not just unhappiness, but the depressed part of it. The scared part of it. The “all but given up” part of it. The fact that I was going to just sit back and wait on life to do whatever it wanted to me.

Reading it was depressing actually. It was sad to see me, that just about 1 1/2 years before that I made this big move to come out here and be happy, and I still wasn’t.

I guess the cool part is that I’m in a far better place. I think I’d actually say I’m really happy with my life. It’s not a new thing either. I think it’s been that way for a bit now. I’m not sure what did it exactly. I’ll have to think on that one. But it’s just shocking to me, to see myself, change so much. To go from someone without any purpose, to someone full of purpose. To going from someone who didn’t have any real reason to get out of bed, to someone who wishes I didn’t have a reason just one day :)

Anyway, I could blab about this forever, but I won’t.