Crumpled Notebook

So, there was a beautiful sunset tonight. However, I don’t have a picture to show you. Did my camera break? Nope. Did I forget it at home? Nada. Am I bitter that my new cell phone doesn’t have a camera on it? Maybe a little, but again, that’s not why.

So, I’ve had this new theory lately that I miss out on a lot of things by taking pictures and videos and all the such. You just don’t get the same experience behind the lens I think. I mean, I think it’s great that you have that photo to capture a memory, but not taking the time to enjoy the beauty and instead focusing on what angle would give you the best shot and manipulating the environment, just takes so much away from it sometimes.

So I’ve stopped becoming so dependent on taking my camera everywhere. Don’t get me wrong. I love taking pictures and I’m not going to stop doing that, but a couple pictures should suffice.

So anyway tonight, there were some very picturesque moments. There was a couple (I presume) sitting on the side of the cliff over the beach as the sun was sitting. It was basically the back of them, their silhouettes. Granted, when I walked down there, they looked a little punk-ish and didn’t seem to fit with the silhouette version I saw, but all the same.

I think I also figured out what I love about living here so much. I mean, yes, it’s beautiful, but I don’t get out nearly enough to really enjoy or appreciate that beauty. I think what it is, is that it reminds me of some of my favorite childhood memories, which was spending summer vacation in Florida. Not that the beaches here are anything like Florida, but the ocean smells the same, the tides roll the same and people just stop what they are doing sometimes to enjoy the beauty of it. There is rarely a night that goes by that my sunset watching spot isn’t full of cars. People just sitting there watching it. Granted, you have to look a little harder in Florida to find that natural beauty, but it’s still there. Anyway, those are just times I miss. Happy family times before things just got complicated, as life does when you get older I suppose.

So, I’m going to do something I rarely do on here, which is blog about work. In particular, about the youth I work with (so obviously there won’t be a lot of details). So last week we had started our Jr. High group up again (and when I say Jr. High, I mean we had kids there from 6th–10th grade). Last week 23 kids show up! About half of those kids were new, which was cool. A few of them are basically jr. gangsters. Anyway, so I wasn’t sure what to expect last night. We ended up having about 12 I think. Most of the ones that didn’t come back were part of our regulars anyway (a few were in trouble or grounded, etc…). So anyway, the numbers doesn’t concern me.

So, we played this game where I basically had them make a choice and indicate their choice by standing on one side of the room or the other. Things like, “stand on the left if you like McDonald’s best. Stand on the right if you like Burger King best.” Then worked into more serious questions. “Do you believe in God?” “Do you think it’s okay to drink alcohol and drive?” “Have you ever done drugs?”

Anyway, I feel like I almost have this curse. I am sure it’s a good one and a God-given one, but nonetheless, difficult sometimes. See, I don’t mind asking the hard questions. A long time ago, probably when I worked at the jail and got desensitized to it, or expected it, I decided I’d rather ask a hard question, and find out the real answer, than live in my reality of the kids I work with acting just like I think they do…good and wholesome. I think almost every adult who has or works with kids deep down, wants to believe that about the kids they work with (or their own kids). I know I do.  I do it constantly. So I constantly have to remind myself of what I was like as a teenage. I mean, don’t get me wrong, on the whole, I wasn’t a bad kid. I didn’t drink, do drugs, etc…but all the same, if my parents, or those other adults in my life, had any idea what I was like at times, things I was doing, then they did a pretty crappy job of trying to prevent it. Heck, they still think I’m an angel.

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is, I feel like the kids, to some level are being honest with me. But I am aware that, “if they are telling me this much, what aren’t they telling me?”

Needless to say, I have a tough road ahead of me with these kids. I don’t think they are any worse off than any other kids their age. I just happen to know a bit more about where they are. Which is scary and a bit overwhelming sometimes, but I still contend, it’s better to know. Better to ask the hard questions while they still trust you.

Ever wanted to be a stay at home mom, and just felt you weren’t qualified enough? Well, here’s a new degree program for you at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (in Texas of course).

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This is now officially my favorite site ever (other than my Gmail of course). It’s the PostSecret website. I know, I’ve put stuff up before, but this video is cool for someone who’s never seen it. And if you haven’t seen it, why the heck not? Go look now. Look, here’s another link for you. It’s not the video that makes it my favorite site though. It’s that it’s the first thing I do Sunday mornings. I look forward to it, and am rarely, if never disappointed. Some of the secrets just speak to me, I hear myself saying them. Other disgust me, and a few just shock me. But there is almost always something in there that just makes me smile. So check out the video below. I’m going out to buy one of the books today actually.

I serious teared up when Hank Aaron was talking. Very cool, very unexpected surprise.

You read it here first folks. More to come.