Crumpled Notebook

I haven’t been sleeping well lately. It’s actually really frustrating to me because it’s more than just the normal “can’t sleep.” It’s eerily remniscent of my sleeping patterns when I lived in Lexington before I moved to California. That is not a good thing either. My mind just races all night of things I need to do or fears of things that could happen. I think about things I should have done differently and things I have completely no control over. Yet, my mind just won’t shut off.

I read once that it took the average person less than 7 minutes to fall asleep. I used to think this was crazy because it always took me about an hour to go to sleep once I went to bed no matter how tired I was. Then magically one day a few years ago, I just started going to sleep. No more counting sheep (which never worked anyway because my sheep jump too fast). I mean, here and there I have trouble sleeping, but this is different. I feel different. I see similar things going on inside of me that I used to struggle with more.

I just want my sleep back. I want my mind to stop racing. I want life to go back to normal. I’m too tired to deal with anything. Besides, I’ve already moved to the other side of the country. I don’t have much place else to go here. Heh.