Crumpled Notebook

I’ve been listening to this song non-stop for the past few days. The song is “Lights of Louisville” by The Muckrakers. The link is to their Myspace and the song is in their player. You should definitely check it out. As a side note, before I get into this post, you should also listen to “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters.” It may be in the player too.

So, “Lights of Louisville.” Well, Louisville isn’t exactly my favorite place in KY, but the song is great. Something about a song about Kentucky always gets me, but check out this part of it.

I gotta get out. Wanna get out. Won’t you help me get out? Gotta get out.

And you lose yourself, find who you are.
And you fight to breath. It shouldn’t be so hard.
And you lose yourself, when you’re all alone.
Let the lights of Louisville carry you home. Let the lights of Louisville carry you home.

I just like it. Don’t we all have our own “lights of Louisville” that take us home? I’m not sure what mine is. Lately it’s been the lights of Nashville as I’m flying back home. Or maybe the 90-Bypass, depending on if I’m heading to Monticello or Granny’s. But you know, as someone who has been away from “home” for over four years now I find it increasingly easy to lose yourself. I don’t think its a bad thing though. I’m not going to speculate what this song is about, but the part “when you lose yourself, find you who are” is true for me. I think I had to let go of myself, and get lost, to really find who I out who I am. It’s hard sometimes being out here all alone (alone as in, away from family and people I grew up with), but I can safely say that without this part of my life, I wouldn’t have ever found myself, and probably not ever really appreciated home.

There is a pretty good sense of ease that comes over me when I’m home. It’s like almost a sense of relief and calmness. In fact, this isn’t a new thing. I had a college friend (Kelli Giorgio) who used to tell me when she’d go to Monticello with me on the weekends that I was so much calmer, relaxed and nicer when I was there. Like there was no pressure. Sure, family can be pressure, but it wasn’t pressure put on me. I think it’s just that unconditional acceptance and love that you get there.

Looking at the spiritual side of that whole “finding home,” I am thinking right now that’s what Heaven is gonna be like. Hanging out at Nana’s house, climbing the mountain, and eating Granny’s mac and tomato juice. That is life my friends.

Anyway, this was about a song. Listen to it and The Muckrakers. Rob is a baseball fan, so you gotta like him for that, even if he is a Reds fan.